The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't you send me to vm
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
