we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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