he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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