you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
