yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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