dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
