I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
