I heard we made out
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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