like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The air was thick with penises
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
