Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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