no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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