At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
