I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Randomize
