my room smells like sperm. sweet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
