Four minutes until I can fart!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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