dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
