Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
