Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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