I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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