that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
