On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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