Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
