i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Randomize
