Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
