I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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