I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
tell me about the fingering
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