he wants to bone in the snuggie
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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