we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
please don't ironically join a cult
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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