Your tits are I can't wait for
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
