he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
She just used a chaser for red wine.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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