I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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