OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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