dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
