you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
