Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
