:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
