I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
