he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
