He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
