Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
