She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
