Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
