I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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