I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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