Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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