He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
