Christians are straight up FREAKS
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
