good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
