I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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