addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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