dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
i now understand why vodka
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
