yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
